Detachment

"Detachment is experiencing your feelings without allowing your feelings to control you. It is choosing how you will react in a situation rather than just reacting… Detachment is a way to use thinking and feeling together, so that you don't let your feelings run away with you."
-From the Virtues Project cards, with permission from The Virtues Project™
People often ask about the virtue of Detachment. They see it as a negative quality, as not being engaged with people, or as being uncaring. When the definition of Detachment is read, there is a big sigh, an understanding, an AHA. Then, Detachment is seen as a gift, like, "Oh, I have a choice about how I can act in a situation. I hadn't thought of that before."
Some of the biggest gifts parents had from Detachment were when their children were in their late teens and twenties… when they were unhappy with their choices, or when the mom or dad was unhappy with their choices! With Detachment, they could step back and say, "This is their journey, not mine. If I try to fix the situation or give my (unsolicited) advice, I am robbing them of the opportunity for them to practice their virtues of discernment, courage, or wisdom. And of course, they will learn from their teachable moments, just as we have learned from ours. They have the opportunity to strengthen their spiritual muscles. What a gift Detachment is.
Questions for reflection:

1. When have I experienced my feelings without allowing my feelings to control me?
2. How can I practice detachment with my family members?
3. How can I refrain from giving my unsolicited advice?
4. How does detachment keep me safe?

Recent training

In January and February 2013 we have conducted intensive training in eight schools and three community groups, including Shikusa Borstal Inst and Shibale Friends Church. .
We welcome all the new Virtues practioners.

Making rules at Shibale Friends Church Mumias and at Shikusa Borstal Institute:

 Feeding the local children after the Virtues training:

 

 

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Assertiveness: Virtues of the week

 We have the courage to speak up for what we believe is right. We tell the truth about what is just. Assertiveness comes from knowing our own worth, and honouring the dignity of who we are. We stand on our own holy ground, and set boundaries without guilt. We never beg or make demands. We ask for what we need by making simple, positive requests. We treat ourselves with respect and expect respect at all times.

'Dost thou reckon thyself a puny form, when within thee the universe is folded?" Imam Ali

The Practice of Assertiveness

I speak my truth with confidence

I value the gifts I have to give

I stand up for what I think is right

I honour my own worth

I set clear boundaries

I know I am worthy of respect

I am thankful for the gift of Assertiveness. It is the guardian of my dignity

Responsible Virtues Pioneer Group

Wednesday was a holiday- Jamhuri (independence) Day- but despite that we were asked to do a training session 'Virtues for Youth Empowerment' in a rural home. We were told to expect 30 young people, thought it would maybe bring in 20 and 57 turned up. They formed a group: Responsible Virtues Pioneer Group. Pioneer because they are the first all-youth group we have talked to.

New Virtues members

ACCES teachers

Governement employees Kakamega

Ebusakami Pri teachers

Dedication of Virtues Centre, Kakamega

During the past year we received donations from the Virtues Facilitators mentorship in Victoria, Canada, and a shipment of materials from the Virtues Founders in memory of John Kavelin (co-founder) It has taken a while but last Saturday we dedicated our centre in Kakamega to the memory of John. We hosted a number of Virtues-trained people (and some who aren't yet) and had a few of our facilitators on hand. We set out a table of sample materials.

New seminar

Tomorrow, November 12, we will offer a one-day seminar on the Pace of Grace-- Advanced Virtues for a Sustainable Life. We all need calm and order in our busy lives. This will be a chance to plan and reflect