Detachment
"Detachment is experiencing your feelings without
allowing your feelings to control you. It is choosing how you will react in a
situation rather than just reacting… Detachment is a way to use thinking and
feeling together, so that you don't let your feelings run away with
you."
-From the Virtues Project cards, with permission from The Virtues Project™
People often ask about the virtue of Detachment. They see it as a negative quality, as not being engaged with people, or as being uncaring. When the definition of Detachment is read, there is a big sigh, an understanding, an AHA. Then, Detachment is seen as a gift, like, "Oh, I have a choice about how I can act in a situation. I hadn't thought of that before."
Some of the biggest gifts parents had from Detachment were when their children were in their late teens and twenties… when they were unhappy with their choices, or when the mom or dad was unhappy with their choices! With Detachment, they could step back and say, "This is their journey, not mine. If I try to fix the situation or give my (unsolicited) advice, I am robbing them of the opportunity for them to practice their virtues of discernment, courage, or wisdom. And of course, they will learn from their teachable moments, just as we have learned from ours. They have the opportunity to strengthen their spiritual muscles. What a gift Detachment is.
Questions for reflection:
-From the Virtues Project cards, with permission from The Virtues Project™
People often ask about the virtue of Detachment. They see it as a negative quality, as not being engaged with people, or as being uncaring. When the definition of Detachment is read, there is a big sigh, an understanding, an AHA. Then, Detachment is seen as a gift, like, "Oh, I have a choice about how I can act in a situation. I hadn't thought of that before."
Some of the biggest gifts parents had from Detachment were when their children were in their late teens and twenties… when they were unhappy with their choices, or when the mom or dad was unhappy with their choices! With Detachment, they could step back and say, "This is their journey, not mine. If I try to fix the situation or give my (unsolicited) advice, I am robbing them of the opportunity for them to practice their virtues of discernment, courage, or wisdom. And of course, they will learn from their teachable moments, just as we have learned from ours. They have the opportunity to strengthen their spiritual muscles. What a gift Detachment is.
Questions for reflection:
- When have I experienced my feelings without allowing my feelings to control me?
- How can I practice detachment with my family members?
- How can I refrain from giving my unsolicited advice?
- How does detachment keep me safe?
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